Sometimes I hate being a fan. Not because I can’t marry oppa or anything close to that delusion, but because I have a tendency to get pretty emotional when shit happens to my fandom. I know I said I hated the idea of being too serious about stuff that happens to the group I stan and the fandom I’m in, but sometimes it just can’t be helped. So far, I’m somewhat successful in setting up this huge wall in between Big Bang and I. I don’t really cry as much as I used to back when I stanned F4 (I know, I was in high school okay), and would just occasionally get bummed out if my idols get into accidents or go on a long hiatus.
My birthday perpetually comes with rain. It’s been like that for more than 20 years, save for 2011 and well, this year. It feels awfully weird not hearing the sound of rain on my birthday. It takes away the tradition I’ve learned to live with and love.
I write this while half-battling withdrawals on Seoul, cold weather and Big Bang. Half-battling, only because half of me does not want the feeling to go away. I miss so many things about Seoul, even if it left me bedridden with the sickest cold, cough and fever for days. If I had the money, I would fly back in a heartbeat.
But enough about my withdrawals. I’m here to tell you my story. One thing I regret after seeing Big Bang for the first time last October 2010 is that I wasn’t able to get a hold of myself and write a decent fan account. I am doing that now, sans the “decent” part.
I got stuck in traffic on the way to work tonight, so I decided to head back home instead of going to work late. I’m one offense away from a written warning if I ever get late again. This means being wiped out of incentives for at least three months if I ever get served with another corrective action.
So anyway, enough about work.
Today was actually one of the best days my fandom has had in a while. For one:
BIG BANG IS BACK AS 5!!!
And two: Beast confirmed the dates of their next Korean concert at their Universal Studios Japan mini-con this afternoon. The concert’s going to be on February 4 & 5, 2012.
After, uhh half a year (?), Nikki and I finally saw each other again. Nikki and I have been friends for over seven years and completely know each other inside out. We don’t talk as much as we do before since we’re now busy with work, but we’ve managed to stay as really good friends — best friends, in fact — for as long as I can remember.
Before I met Nikki, I’ve had around 3 best friends, all of whom are girls. I ended up having the worst arguments with each one of them that I eventually had to end those friendships. From then on, I realized I’m not really born to have a girl best friend. I’ll always end up fighting with her, as opposed to a guy who has more patience and knows how not to let their emotions get in the way of, well, anything. Nikki, in a nutshell, is pretty much the guy version of me.. only more zealous and richer (in every sense of the word).
For fear that I might soon disregard this blog’s existence (the layout doesn’t inspire me ;~;), I thought of a weekly requirement post for myself. Since I love music, and pretty much listen to all genres… why not create a weekly recommendation post for just about any music under the sun? This will somehow give music-related posts some variety since I usually just post Kpop stuff here. Although, Thursday Shuffles could still include Kpop songs, I won’t allow the post to carry more than one. Moreover, I’ll prioritize indie Korean music, or maybe underrated tracks from my dear nugus. There will, however, be rare times when I would still post tracks from my fave artists especially if it’s a really, really good song (e.g. Beast’s Calling You or Big Bang’s Until Whenever). Uhmm, yeah.
So here are the tracks I picked for this week:
1. Signs by Bloc Party
When/Where I First Heard It: I was watching an episode of Gossip Girl and this song played when Chuck was crying in Blaire‘s arms after hearing about his father’s death.
My Favorite Line:I believe in anything that brings you back home to me…
Why I Love It: The dreamlike instrumentals at the beginning of the song just wrap you around in a trance. Glockenspiels, in my opinion, can make or break a song. But the gradual and careful layering of percussions at the start is what caught me and made me love this even more.
I honestly thought this was a love song the first time I heard it. I was wrong. It’s actually more about the experience of having lost someone you love and getting signs that this person may still be there, although not physically. It is about seeing and feeling the presence of that someone after that person took away his/her own life, thus the “signs”. It’s quite creepy if you think about it. But the song and the melody deal with the subject with utmost simplicity and gentleness that you just can’t say no to the song.
I’m not really good in writing introductions. My ability, or lack thereof, to write has degraded quite embarrassingly over the past few years. I blame it on my disproportionate exposure to Engrish.
Today, BEAST is turning two. That’s right. One of my two favourite bands in the world is celebrating their 2nd anniversary. For some reason, I suck at writing cheesy posts about my biases, because… well, they become disgustingly cheesy and I end up not being able to deal with myself. But yes, it’s been 730 days of stanning for me and hundreds and thousands of other b2uties out there. While I am first and foremost a VIP, I am forever a B2UTY. This is the only fandom where I really feel at home with, and the reason why I’ve gained a lot of friends in this theatrical world known as KPOP.
More than a month into this new blog and I still haven’t fixed its layout. It still remains as this plain black space with uhm, words on it. I still can’t find a designer. Or maybe… I haven’t been looking hard enough.
The past month has been a pretty lifeless month in fandom. Beast went to Spain and the US, and have managed to prove to everyone just how insanely popular they have become. I feel like a proud mom watching her kids grow, which is awkward because I do not really harbor motherly feelings for any of them (most, if not all, the time my heart is brewing with lust so). Big Bang went through deeper shit after GD‘s marijuana case was unearthed by the Korean press. Honestly, as a longtime stan, I am not surprised by all this. Jiyong is of legal age, and I sure as hell know he knows what he is/was doing. That being said, I know if push comes to shove, he will find a way to clean up his own mess. And perhaps, with a little help from his hyung YG.
I broke my retainers, so now I have this weird feeling that my teeth are about to misalign or worse, fall off. I’m paranoid. Always have been.
Anyway, that’s not really the subject of this post. Block B is.
If you’re in the loop, I’m sure you know the last Kpop act to visit Philippines is Block B. The pains (okay, maybe more of inconveniences) I had to endure just to see them are somehow always a necessity whenever I have Kpop artists visiting my country. Although I am eternally thankful for people who continue to bring my biases here, I’m not entirely happy about the idea that I would have to witness fandom politics once again. But at the end of the day, they were here, I saw them, they made me happy… and I guess that’s the most important thing.
Hiker's Final Train Station 